I'm mad, seriously. I'm collapsing. All these thoughts of mine are going to kill me sooner or later. I better stop thinking. But, what can I do? I hope there is something such as a "forget-everything-pill" and I can just take it. Yeah, it's stupid of me to think so. I don't want to be a coward too. I want to face the problems, but it ain't easy sometimes. I have to have to stop thinking and stay strong.

And I'm deproving, with regards to training. My stamina dropped like a huge lot, and my body ain't working well. Injury here and there. Pain almost everywhere. Mentally tired. So many problems. And I can't get to sleep. What's wrong with me?!?!?!?!


ARGH. slap me please, somebody. Or I should just do it myself.

I hope I can not think anymore.
I hope I can cope.
I hope I won't collapse.